Wasting
by BubbleResidue
Summary: Through a series of events, and some help from friends, Mia learns that in loving Ike for so long, she may have been wasting her life, and her love, on someone who will never love her back, and, that she has so much more to give.
1. Chapter 1

Um... so. I can't really defend the origin of this one at all... I honestly have no idea where it came from. And at this point, I'm not sure wheather or not I'll continue it, so if anyone who reads this, likes it, and wants to see more, you have to tell me. Because right about now. I have no plot for it. AT ALL. No that's a lie. I do have a tiny little bit that I might be able to stretch into a plot... so we'll see.

I hope I got the characters at least kind of right. Let me know if id didn't. I'll try to fix them. However, I know that Mia and Kieran are a bit out of character, because of their... dilema (I'll let you read and find out what it is). Plus, I'm not really sure I like how Mia is often portrayed as really annoying. Mostly, because those people really annoy _me. _So, we'll see.

I'm kind of assuming it's a bit obvious, but here it is:  
" " indicate speech  
_Italics _indicate an emphasis on a word, and about in the middle of this, a dream.

So, if you would, read it, and if you like it, review, and if you don't, feel free to leave some sort of constructive criticism.  
Also, I would apreciate it if you could point out any errors you notice. I would be happy to fix them

Enjoy.

* * *

"Good match, Mia," the blue haired leader of the Greil Mercenaries said, addressing his sparring partner. "You almost had me that time." Ike ginned. "Maybe tomorrow, huh?"

Mia laughed. "As if I could ever beat you, Boss. You're way better than me. I'm lucky I do as well as I do. I know I won't ever beat you. You're just fun to spar with though, so I keep coming back."

Ike feigned hurt. "So you're saying you only like me because of my skill? It has nothing to do with my outstanding personality and charm?"

A small, barley noticeable melancholy smile graced Mia's lips. "Well, I suppose a little of that, too." If only he knew how much a "_little"_ really was. Mia fought back a sigh. If she got to looking down, Ike would surely demand to know what was wrong with her. That was just the kind of person he was. And then what was she going to tell him?

"_I'm sad because I'm in love with you, but I know you won't ever love me back because you're still in love with Elincia, even though she's married to Geoffrey and has loved him for years, before she even knew you."_ Was that what she would say?

Yeah. That would go over well.

Mia allowed her self only a single moments worth of depression before giving Ike a huge smile, setting up that false cheery façade she hid behind so often now. "And," she said, lowering her voice and leaning in to Ike, "I know if I can hold my own against you, he doesn't have a chance." Mia jerked her head in the direction of Kieran, the red haired Crimean knight, who was at the moment, polishing his sword, completely unaware that he was being put down.

Ike laughed out loud at that. Mia even allowed her self a real smile. She didn't have many of those often any more, unless Ike was around. He always seemed to make her day brighter. The two drew the stares of a few passerbies'; one of those glances was from Kieran, who gave them a puzzled look, then returned to his sword.

"Poor guy," Ike said after his laughter had died down. "He doesn't even have a clue." As the mercenary's gaze fell on the red-head, Mia could almost see the gears turning in Ike's head as he formulated a plan. One, that Mia realized, would involve her and Kieran and swords.

What had she gotten her self into? Ike was the only one she really enjoyed sparring with, although everyone thought she would spar with anyone, simply because she liked training. It was another one of those masks she always hid behind.

"Kieran," Ike called out across the training facility.

The knight looked up and his hand that clutched the rag he was using stilled. Ike waved him over. Only slightly confused, but seeming to slowly understand what was about to happen, Kieran stood up, sword in hand. He made his way over to the two mercenaries.

"General Ike," he greeted them, bowing his head, "and Mia."

"I'm not a general any more, Kieran."

"I know." Kieran thought for a moment. He was being unusually calm, Mia noted. Different from all the other times she had seen him. During both wars he had practically been bouncing off the walls, challenging anything that moved to a duel. Apparently he had changed though, since the last time she had seen him. "Old habits die hard, I suppose," he continued, a small smile gracing his lips. "Many of the men still refer to you as 'General' though."

"But I'm _not." _Ike muttered under his breath.

"But it doesn't really matter what I call you now I suppose. I'll just call you Ike then, since you actually aren't a general anymore. How does that sound?"

Ike nodded his approval.

"What brings you to the palace then, Ike? Surely not a casual visit?"

"No, we're wanted for hire by the Queen. Count Fayre contacted us. In fact, here he comes now. I should go get Soren and Titania. Kieran, it was nice to see you again." He began to walk away. "And Mia," Ike turned around. "Weren't you saying something about wanting to test your skill against Kieran?" Ike gave her a crooked smile, one that almost made Mia melt, and then was off again, rounding up Soren and Titania.

Mia sighed dejectedly. She really did not want to fight Kieran. "Look, Kieran, I—"

She was cut off by the Crimean knight. "You wanted to spar with me?" Kieran inquired.

"Well, no I—" Mia began again.

"Would it be possible for us to do this another time? I was, ah, thinking before Ike called me over just now, and I can't say I'm really in the mood." Kieran gave her an apologetic look. "Another time though, I promise. I won't forget."

Mia was taken aback. Kieran, not wanting to spar? That was like Gatrie, not hitting on every woman in sight, or Shinon, not being a pompous ass, or, she wanted to kill herself for even thinking the next analogy that came unbidden into her mind: Ike, not being in love with Elincia.

"What do you mean, you don't want to spar? In all the time I've known you, during both war, you jumped at the chance to train with anyone!" It wasn't really that Mia wanted to spar with Kieran, now she was more curious than interested in fighting. Plus, it got her mind away from a certain blue haired someone. "Have you really changed that much?"

"Oh, no. I still enjoy training with others very much." He almost laughed. "And I find it a bit strange that you do not want to spar with me. I'vealways though similarly of you." He gave her a wry smile. "It's just; I've been quite distracted as of late. I find myself wanting to be alone with just my thoughts. I hope you don't mind. Good day." Kieran gave her another nod of his head, and then was gone, walking back to his bench and polishing rag.

Mia was quite stunned. She had never seen Kieran act like this. He was acting almost like… she was shocked as she came to the realization. Kieranwas acting like her. Except that Mia just kept hiding behind the hyperactive cheery façade she had created long ago, after her patents died. Could it be that Kieran was suffering from the same thing Mia was? Was Kieran in love, too?

A part of Mia wanted to go over and ask the knight if he had feelings for someone, if he was in love. But another part of her didn't. She knew what it was like to want to be alone. So she left the knight to his thoughts and settled for walking around the training grounds.

It was a nice day, and Mia soon found her spirits lifted, however slightly it might have been. She wandered aimlessly around the big courtyard, smiling and waving to those she knew and even those she didn't.

There was Boyd and Mist, walking hand and in the shadows. Mists belly was bulging quite conspicuously; she was due any time now. Boyd and Mist had been wed shortly after they defeat of Ashera.

There was the Pegasus Knight, what was her name? Marcy? No, Marcia, and her drunken brother, who's name Mia could not remember at all. Marcia was shouting at her brother asking him why he had to be such a good-for nothing drunken fool.

She saw the fiery haired wyvern knight Jill jumping gracefully from her mount, a package of some sort in her arms. The two women's eyes met, and a smile touched Jill's normally frowning lips as she nodded a distant hello to Mia. The two had become friends in the war. Mia had the feeling they would remain that way, even though they hadn't spoken since they had ascended the Tower of Guidance. Mia made a note to track to wyvern knight down later and say hello.

Gatrie was off to one side showing off to some female Crimean knights. There was loud laughter coming from their direction. The women were obviously quite impressed with Gartie's antics and his jokes.

Rhys and Rolf were in a very deep conversation. Mia couldn't fathom what though. She had no idea what the kind hearted healer and the young archer could have in common.

The High-and-Mighty Shinon was no were to be found, and that was well enough, thought Mia. She didn't particularly like Shinon, and he really didn't like her, so it was better in her opinion that he wasn't around.

Oscar, Rolf and Boyd's older brother also wasn't around. Mia wondered if he was in the kitchen. He often made his way there when there was nothing else for him to do. He found cooking calming, he had once told Mia, when he tried to teach her how to make something edible. Mia had failed miserably. Mia smiled to herself. It had been an awful night the time the Greil Mercenaries had to eat Mia's cooking. Now when ever Mia came around the kitchen at their base, Oscar very kindly asked her not to touch what he was doing and directed her to some vegetables that she could safely chop up without destroying to badly.

And of course, Ike, Soren and Titania weren't in the courtyard either. They were with the Queen and her vassals, Lucia, Bastian the count of Fayre and of course, her husband, King Geoffrey.

That Elincia! It wasn't that Mia really disliked the woman that was their queen, but just knowing that she was the one that held Ike's affections some how made her seem like and awful person. And then she had gone and married that knight Geoffrey. Mia liked Geoffrey well enough as well, but it irked her to know that it was him and not Ike that Elincia loved. Mia had long ago reasoned that if she couldn't have Ike, she would wish him the best of happiness to whoever he did want. Then he had gone and confessed his feelings to her during the Mad King's war and she had told him that she had loved someone else. Just thinking about that night made Mia fume. She couldn't believe that the Queen would be so selfish as to—

"Oh!" Mia had almost walked straight into a tree she had been so wrapped up in her thoughts. She stopped walking and scowled. Damn that Elincia anyway! Mia let out a frustrated sigh and sank down to the ground, putting her back against the trunk of the tree. Mia closed her eyes, leaned her head back on the bark of the tree and covered her face with her hands. She felt like screaming! And ripping someone's head off. Preferably a head with long green hair that wore a crown…

Despite her anger and frustration towards Elincia, Mia found her position against the tree quite comfortable. There was a slight breeze blowing, making the summer heat seem not so hot, and there were a few patches of sunlight steaming down through the tree, warming her body perfectly. And despite how much she tried to stay mad and Queen Elincia, and even King Geoffrey, Mia found her self slipping into sleep.

_

* * *

_

Mia woke from her tent with a start. Which was odd. Mia almost always slept through the night with out a problem. But tonight, right at this moment, something felt very off. Curious and quite unable to go back to sleep, Mia pulled on a warmer set of clothes, picked up her sword and set out into the snow. She crunched her way silently to the edge of camp, almost to the woods. She waved to a sentry and told him that she was just going for a walk and would be back soon.

"_Don't go too far" The man warned._

"_Oh, don't worry, I won't. I'll stay just close enough, so that if any thing happens to me, you can hear me scream." Mia smiled at her joke. The sentry on the other hand looked quite stricken. He had gone pale. 'Oh, it was a joke!" Mia explained. "Nothing will happen to me. I can defend myself, see?" she held up her sword. The sentry nodded, still looking ashen, but allowed her to continue out of the camp._

_Mia walked as quietly as she could through the woods. She found herself quite enjoying the silence of the night. The only sound she heard was that of her feet sinking into the snow over and over again._

_The purple haired myrmidon had no idea how long she had been out in the forest. She only knew that her feet were begging to become cold. She had settled on going back to camp when she was stopped by the quiet voice of the Princess Elincia._

"_Ike, what is it you wanted to talk to me about?"_

_Mia froze. She should really head back to camp now, she realized. This was a private conversation between Elincia and Ike. She had no right to be eavesdropping. But still… She was quite intrigued. As silently as she could Mia crept in the direction of Elincia's voice. _

"_Ike?" Elincia said. _

_Mia stopped. She could see the princess standing in a small clearing. She had a red cloak over her shoulders. Ike's cloak, Mia realized. What was Elincia doing with Ike's cloak? Mia also saw Ike. He was standing some ways away from the princess. His arms hung down at his side and he was looking at the ground._

"_Ike?" Elincia asked again. She took a step toward him_

"_Elincia…" Ike began. I—there's something I have to ask, no— I have to… have to tell you… something." Mia had never seen Ike stumble over his words like that. In the time she had known him, the time she had had to fall in love with him… Ike had always seemed so sure of himself. She had never seen him like this._

"_Yes, Ike?" Elincia spoke again. She was closer to Ike now, and laid a hand on his arm. "What is it?"_

"_I…" Ike took a deep breath "I love you."_

_Mia gasped. Ike… loved Elincia? How could she not have seen it? Could she really have been so blind as to not notice that he acted differently around the princess than anyone else? Had she truly not seen it?_

_Elincia was silent. She seemed just as shocked by Ike's confession as Mia was._

"_I, I know I'm young, and I don't really know a lot about love, or any of that stuff. And I know that it could be hard, because you're royalty and I'm, well, not. I know people might talk if they saw us, or heard about us. But, I've thought about it… and… I don't care. I really don't care what anyone says as long as I can be with you. I…" Ike stopped speaking and just looked at her._

_Now it was Elincia who had her eyes stuck to the forest floor. Her hand had dropped from his arm._

"_Elincia… say something," Ike begged. "Please. Say something."_

_After another moment of silence, Mia could hear the princess's whisper. "I'm sorry."_

"_W-what?" Ike seemed to choke on his words._

"_I'm sorry Ike. I don't love you. I really don't." Elincia met his gaze. Mia had the feeling that she was crying, even though she wasn't close enough to really see either of them that clearly._

"_You… you mean you don't love me now, right? I mean you could eventually, right? You could—" Mia could hear the desperation in Ike's voice. It tore at her heart to see him like this. To see him put his heart on the line and then have if shattered. Mia could feel her own tears threatening to spill over down her cheeks._

"_No, Ike. I mean—I mean exactly what I say. I do not love you. And… I won't ever. There's some one else…_

"_Some one else… Of course… Who? Who is it? If, if you don't mind saying."_

"_Geoffrey. I grew up with him, and we've known each other for so long and—"_

"_Stop. You don't have to defend your self. I get it. You love this… Geoffrey." Mia wished he would just stop talking. He was only making it harder on himself. Why was he prolonging this punishment? "And not me." Ike's voice was very cold. Colder than the night itself. "I get it." He said again._

"_Ike, I really am sorry. I—"_

"_Good night, Elincia." Ike's voice held a neutral tone. It was as if he wasn't even himself. It was like he was just some hollow shell that looked like Ike. It was as if Ike had died. Mie could tell, even from a distance that his eyes held no life in them. Not one spark. Ike turned. As he began walking he said to the princess, "You should get back to camp. People will worry if they find you gone. You know the way back I trust?" He spoke without even looking back at her._

"_Yes, but I… Ike." As she said his name he stopped, as if he had been glued to the surface of the planet. "Will… will this change anything between us? I mean—"_

"_No. Of course nothing will change." Ike still did not turn around and look at her. "Nothing will change. I'll always protect you, and I'll always love you. And if need be, I would lay down my life for you. That's just how it will be. Nothing has changed. Nothing" Ike kept repeating the word. It was like he was trying to convince himself, as well as Elincia that everything would be alright, and that they could go back to the way they were. "Nothing." He whispered for the last time. Ike began walking again, very slowly. "Good night... princess."_

* * *

"Princess! Oh, look at the princess! Isn't she so adorable?"

Mia was jolted awake by the high pitched sounds of feminine voices. She cracked her eyes open. A few feet in front of her were a group of women clustered around one very overwhelmed nursemaid

"Oh, back away!" the nurse shouted "All of you! Let the little girl have her space. And calm down! If the queen could see you know! What would she think of you? Acting like a bunch of starving animals! By the Goddess!" The women quieted and backed away slightly. They still hovered, though, like vultures waiting for those higher up in the food chain to finish their meal so they could swoop down and pick the bones clean.

Mia sighed. She had seen the young Princess Eva before, only a few days after the girl had been born. She had thought the little girl was cute, until she noticed that she looked like her mother. Everyone had though that the baby was born prematurely, but Mia suspected that it was born so early because Elincia and Geoffrey could not wait to be wed.

"Humph!" Mia stood up and stretched. Her eyes scanned her surroundings, searching for a familiar head of blue hair. She saw none, sighed, and wondered over to the area she and Ike had been training in earlier. She didn't really know what time it was, and didn't really care, but by the looks of the sun, it was becoming evening. Were they still talking about the work that Elincia wanted the Greil Mercenaries to do?

Mia stood in the center of the courtyard for some time. She didn't really have any purpose for being there, so she let her eyes roam, jumping from one scene to another as they caught her interest. Finally her gaze seemed to settle on Kieran, who was still, incidentally, polishing his sword. Mia put her feet into motion and walked over to the Crimean knight, who was still seemingly lost in thought.

"You know, if you keep polishing it in that spot, you'll wear a hole in it." Kieran looked up at Mia's words and smiled.

"Hello again Mia. I hope you haven't come for that duel. I'm still not quite ready."

"Oh, I'm not interested in a duel. Can I sit?" Kieran nodded and Mia settled herself next to him. "I just thought that you could use some company. We don't have to talk or anything; I know you said earlier you just wanted to be alone with your thoughts. But, I often find it a comfort to be with someone, even if you aren't talking. It makes the silence more pleasant."

"I would enjoy that. Thank you, Mia."

As they sat, Mia could tell that Kieran was indeed in the middle of something that was very important to him. His brows were drawn together, and his face had a scowl of sorts etched upon it. He was thinking very hard.

Mia looked away, afraid that she would get caught staring and let her gaze wander again.

It was some time before Kieran broke the silence. "What do you know of love, Mia?" He asked, startling Mia out of her own reverie she had slipped into.

"Love? Well, I… not much I suppose. Why do you ask?" She wasn't sure if she wanted to tell Kieran all she knew of love. She liked the man though and wanted to help him with his problem as best she could. She was sure now, that because of his question, that Kieran was in deed in love, and that he seemed to be having some trouble with it.

"I… Well, I need a woman's help." He cast a sideways glance at Mia.

"Because you're in love?" Mia said, not really thinking. "Why do you need a woman's help? And why mine?" Then she realized how that might of sounded and added on, "not that I won't help you as best I can."

Kieran chuckled. "You can tell, then? I asked Marcia for help, and she just thought that I wanted advice on how to get a girl. She had no idea that there was already someone. How could you tell?"

"Well, I, uh…" Mia scrambled for words. How could she tell him it was because he acted exactly like she wanted to? "You, uh, acted the same way someone I know did, when she was in love."

Goddess. What a lame cover-up. Mia wanted to smack her self. She didn't want to look him in the eye, so she fixed her gaze on the hand clutching an oiled rag that had been moving in small circular motions near the hilt for the duration of their conversation.

"Yourself, you mean?" Kieran's voice was very gentle. Mia could tell that he didn't want her to think that he was making fun of her in any way. The hand slowed, and then stopped. Mia could feel Kieran's gaze upon her.

The myrmidon was a little surprised. That was very considerate of him. She had never thought that Kieran would be the type to be considerate. Or even be the type to notice things like that. In one day, Mia had learned more about Kieran than she had in all the times she had fought with him before. How interesting. Mia raised her head to meet Kieran's stare.

Mia considered denying it. She was already looking him in the eye. It was always best to lie looking someone in the eye, if you could. It made your bluff more believable. She was so sure that she was going to deny it that she was quite aghast when she heard herself saying, "Uh, yeah."

"I see." They were quite for another moment. "Mia," Kieran said, again breaking the silence, "will you help me?"

"Okay. I mean, as best I can."

"Thank you Mia."

"Oh… I wouldn't thank me quite yet. Let me help you first. Then you can thank me. If I don't ruin it for you."

Kieran grinned. "I'll think you'll be able to help. In fact, I know you will. You seem like the kind of person that another can depend on. I never noticed that about you before."

"O-oh…" In spite of her self, Mia felt herself blushing. No one had ever called her dependable before. People didn't really expect her kind of person to be dependable, or responsible or anything like that. Even the Greil Mercenaries didn't really depend on her. She was just a stray they had picked up because their late kind hearted commander had sent her their way. She had always just been spunky, happy, energetic, crazy, up-for-anything Mia. And now suddenly she was dependable. Mia looked away from Kieran hurriedly. "S-so, what do you want me to do?" she asked, still not looking at the knight.

"I just want some advice. A little help. And someone to make sure I don't chicken out. That's all. That's not too much to ask, is it?" Kieran was quiet for a moment. "Mia?"

"Hm?" Mia was trying to calm her self down and rid herself of the blush that stained her cheeks.

"You're not embarrassed are you? About what I said about you being dependable?"

"No! Of course not. I just, uh…"

Kieranlaughed. Mia knew it was at her, but for some reason, she didn't really mind. "Mia, I see King Geoffrey. He's coming for me, I think. I should go see what he wants. I'll find you later, though, if you'll still give me some advice."

"I said I would, didn't I? So I will. But, Ike is talking with the Queen right now, about a job. And if we take it, I don't know when I'll see you again. But I'll try my best to help you."

Kieran stood up, smiling. "Dependable Mia. I knew I could count on you. Thank you. Again." When Mia flushed (again) his smile broadened. "I'll see you around, Mia."

Mia only nodded, to furious with herself for blushing. She rarely blushed. What was it about Kieran and his compliments—that had to be it. He had called her dependable.

"Oh! Kieran!" Mia jumped up off the bench and made a short dash to catch up with him.

"Mia." He was still smiling as he looked down at her.

"I don't mean to pry and really, it's none of my business… but who is it? That you love, I mean."

"I'm surprised you didn't ask sooner." Kieran leaned down and whispered a name in her ear.

"Astrid."

Then he was walking away again, towards King Geoffrey, whistling a merry tune.

Mia put a hand to her hot face. "Damn you, Kieran," she muttered. "I think I liked you better when all you wanted from me was a rematch. Now you want love advice? What am I going to do?" Mia sighed. She had promised that she would help him to the best of her ability though, so that's what she was going to do. "_Love advice?"_ Mia said again, and sighed.

"Mia," a familiar voice called to her. Mia looked up to see Ike coming nearing her. Mia couldn't help but notice, as the green haired queen stepped out of the shadows and into the light, that before she was surrounded by people, she had her head turned in their direction, and her eyes clearly focused on Ike

Mia put on a happy face. "Hi Boss. What's up?" Mia moved in his direction and met him halfway.

"Well," Ike said, letting his eyes wander before coming to look straight at Mia, "you'd better get a good night's sleep. We've got work to do."

* * *

Cliff-hanger ending? Did you like it? Hate it? Found it unbelievably freaking awful? Want more? Let me know.

I kind of like Kieran a bit more calm-ish, only if it's because he is currently having problems. And, the Astrid/Kieran is just because I can't stand Makalov. I really can't stand him. Blech. I really liked the convorsations between Kieran and Oscar though. The one where Kieran keeps contradicting himself. It made me smile.

I hope you enjoyed it. Thanks for reading.


	2. Chapter 2

The Greil Mercenaries were not happy. They had just been all herded into a very small and very hot room rather unceremoniously, by Soren. Who, upon being asked why in the world they had to have their job briefing in the insufferable little room, had only said, "Just. Go." And given them all icy stares.

So they went. The Greil Mercenaries packed themselves quite indignantly into the tiny room and waited, a little confused as to why they had to be sweating in order to get the briefing on their newest job. Luckily, it wasn't long before Ike opened the door and swept in. stirring the air about him, he created a movement in the stale air that was welcomed by all of the over-heating mercenaries.

All eyes followed their commander as he moved to an area where he could be seen by most. Mia's eyes followed him every step of the way. She would never get tired of watching that man. It was a fact Mia had decided many years ago. Watching Ike never got old to her.

"So," Ike cleared his throat, preparing to speak. "We've been hired by the Queen and King to escort their Majesties to a banquet they have been invited to in Daein. Upon reaching Daein, we will remain there until the King and Queen leave again for Crimea, and we'll escort them back. So far, any questions?"

"Won't the Crimean Knights be escorting them?" Boyd asked. All eyes turned to the ever dense reaver standing in the back of the room, leaning on the wall, arms crossed over with his chest.

Mia had wanted to smack him for asking such a stupid question. Of course the Royal Knights would escorting the King and Queen, but what was wrong with them wanting some extra man-power? And, taking the job wouldn't hurt the mercenarie's funds much either. The Crown had always paid well for previous jobs the Greil Mercenaries had done for them.

"Yes," Ike replied, ever patient with his friend. "But our being escorts is just a cover story."

"Ohhh." Boyd nodded his head in understanding, almost as if he had known that all along. "Gotch'a." He grinned at his friend.

Mia sighed. She had no idea how Mist put up with the man, ever since they were kids. And then she _married_ him. Mia would have gone crazy.

"So," Ike began again, "You've all heard of the small revolts that have been taking place during the past month?" He waited until he got nods from everyone in the room before continuing. "The knights have been unsuccessful in flushing out the group so far, and the Queen is worried that someone might be planning to revolt against the Crown. She suspects that the rebellion will strike at the party traveling from Melior to Nevessa. We've been hired to take out that group, should it strike the convoy. Quietly of course. Everyone understand?" More nods. "Alright then, Soren?"

Soren went on to describe the more precarious details of the mission, things that Mia mostly tuned out; Ike explained it well enough in the first place; and this time was no exception. He droned on and on in his slightly monotone voice, explaining to everyone the importance of stealth in this mission, like they didn't already get it. Mia looked over to Boyd. Well, maybe he could use a recap, but he was only one person and he wasn't even paying attention. He was tickling Mist, just enough to make her squirm and give him a reproachful look and slap his hand a little. But she was quite obviously enjoying the attention, and despite the scolding's she had given him, she showed no signs of moving away from her husband so she could better pay attention to Soren.

Mia felt a slight twinge of jealously toward the happy couple. What would it be like to be in love with some one who loved you back? What would it be like to be married, and to have a family? What would it be like to have someone who would never leave her, and stay with her throughout everything in life? Mia wondered.

Despite her occupying thoughts, Mia barely registered that Soren was now talking about the Royal Knights that would be escorting the Queen. The Queen's personal guard, led by General Kieran—he was a general now?—Lady Astrid, Makalov, Marcia, Lady Lucia, and of course, King Geoffrey. There would be others of course, but only these few knew about the real reason for the Greil Mercenaries presence.

Soren spoke some more, and Mia didn't really get any of that; she wasn't paying attention anymore. Finally, after the mage had been talking far to long, he was done. "That is all," he said.

Ike nodded his thanks to his friend. "Alright then, dismissed. It should be close to dinner time."

Very gratefully, the Greil Mercenaries filed out of the packed room single file, just as they had entered. They dispersed slowly, most heading off to the mess hall, where they knew free food would be provided. Mia smiled when she heard Boyd challenging Ike to a food eating contest. She knew that the cooks would be frantically whipping up more food, knowing that the Greil Mercenaries would be attending dinner.

Mia sighed and stretched her muscles. She had begun to feel slightly claustrophobic in that little room, and it felt good to stretch and take up as much space as she possibly could. Maybe she would take a quick walk around the courtyard before heading in for a meal. She had no real desire to be squashed next to people after being in that room for the last half hour. Yes, a walk. That sounded nice. Until her stomach rumbled, reminding her that she hadn't eaten since dawn, when she had woken up. Food would have to come before solitude she decided. Once she thought about being hungry, the feeling rarely went away. Then she was left with an empty feeling in her stomach, wishing for food, until she was distracted by something else.

"Food then," she muttered, and almost reluctantly followed her comrades toward the mess hall.

The gigantic mess hall, was, as she had predicted, full. With her luck, she would no doubt end up wedged between two very hungry soldiers stuffing their faces. Preparing for the worst, Mia waded into the crowd. She picked up her tray and went down the line, collecting various items of food. Fruits, vegetables, meat, and a hunk of bread. Exiting from the food line, she paused briefly, looking for some familiar faces to sit with.

She could easily pick out Ike, but he was already surrounded by members of the Greil Mercenaries and various Crimean knights. There would be no way she could get close enough to him to talk. Her eyes scanned the crowd. As she went farther down the tables, towards the end, she could see a familiar head of shortly cropped red hair.

It was Kieran, motioning for someone with long black hair (Astrid she realized) to sit. How gentlemanly of him. What did he need her help for? After Astrid was seated, Kieran happened to glance up. He looked straight at Mia and smiled, then waved her over.

Mia smiled back at him, heading over to the group.

"Mia!" Kieran was still smiling when she came over to the table. "Come on, sit with us." He reached up and touched her elbow, gently pulling her downward toward the bench. "Unless, of course there's some one else?" Mia blushed and shook her head quickly, sitting. The question was innocent enough to any one who didn't know what Kieran was referring to. But Mia knew. And she knew that Kieran knew that she knew.

Mia blushed further, recalling their earlier conversation. How had he seen through her like that? No one knew about her feelings for Ike. Feelings she had been harboring for years. And then suddenly in one short conversation, her secret had been pulled into the light. At least she could be thankful that Kieran didn't know who she was in love with.

"Mia," Kieran was saying, "This is Ryan and Kiev, they're new. You know everyone else, right?"

Mia nodded, saying her hello's to the two young knights and the rest of the table group. There was Astrid of course, Makalov, his sister Marcia, and even Jill, whom Mia found out would be accompanying the party to Daein.

"So, Jill," Astrid's soft voice somehow managed to carry across the table to the wyvern knight. "You're here with a delivery for the King and Queen, right?"

Jill barely looked up from her plate of food. She did nod however, but in a way that made that fact that she was much more interested in her food than conversation blatantly clear.

Astrid bit her lip, probably trying to come up with some kind of response for that. Poor woman. She was just trying to make conversation.

"It must be interesting," she tried again, "getting to see so much of the world. What's it like?"

"It's okay, I guess. You know." Jill mumbled in answer, still looking down at her plate. Jill was acting very un-Jill like, Mia noticed. What could be bothering her? The wyvern knight cleared her throat. "If you all don't mind, I think I'm going to retire. It was a long flight, and we leave early tomorrow. It was nice getting to see all of you again. I'll see you tomorrow." Jill stood up and freed her legs from under the table

"Ah…" Makalov sighed, "Probably off to go write some love letter to your flying Cyclops, eh?"

The reaction was almost immediate. Jill's face flooded with color; it was almost as red as her hair. "N-no! Of course not! A love letter?! To Haar? Of course not! That's, that's—I-I—NO!" She then turned on her heel and stormed off, but only after bringing her tray down on Makalov's head and spilling the food all over him.

Mia half stood in her seat, thinking to go comfort her friend, but Kieran's hand on her arm stopped her. "Best to let her cool down a little before you go of to comfort her. If you're not careful, she might try to take your head off." He gestured to Makalov, who was chortling to himself not even bothering to help Marcia and Astrid pick the bits of food out of his hair.

"Uh, you're right. I'll wait a little." Mia sat back down again.

"Besides," he said in a low voice. It wasn't really a whisper, but the others at the table weren't paying any attention to them, so it was quiet enough for only Mia to be the one who heard it. "We can't have you getting hurt, now can we? I still need some help."

"Uh. Yeah." Mia could feel her cheeks start to get warm, and she fought to keep the color from showing on her face. This would be the third time in one day that the red haired knight had made her blush. How was it that he had that effect on her?

Suddenly, Mia's plate of food looked quite delicious. Hastily, she took a large bite and chewed, trying to save herself before she said something that she might regret. Something embarrassing. Something embarrassing that would make her blush even more than she already was. However, despite her focus being entirely on her food, she could feel Kieran's quiet smile. Mia was suddenly aware of how close he was. She could feel the heat radiating off his body—or was she just imagining it? He put a hand on her shoulder briefly and squeezed gently before letting his hand fall back to his side. It was so quick, that if she hadn't been paying so much attention to her… "food"… she almost might have thought that it hadn't happened; no one else at the table seemed to have noticed it.

Mia stuffed another bite of food into her mouth. What was wrong with her? She swallowed. What. Was. Wrong. With. Her? Another bite. She never recalled feeling this toward anyone ever, not even Ike. Swallow. Take another bite. No one ever had made her blush or stammer before with just a compliment and the slight touch of a hand. Swallow. No one. Mia scowled, trying to conjure up a memory when being near Ike made her heart beat faster. That one wasn't hard. There were plenty of those. Her heart fluttered nearly every time she was near him. Was it because Kieran was good looking? No, that couldn't be it. None of the men in the Greil Mercenaries were ugly, and they didn't make her heart rate speed up. And she lived with them. What was it about him?

"Mia, Mia," Kieran put a hand over hers, stilling it. "Slow down. You're speed eating."

Mia swallowed and coughed a little, looking up at him. "Was I? I… didn't notice."

"I can see that." He laughed. "Is the food really that good? I always thought it was rather bland."

"Bland, yes." Mia joined in on his brief laughter once she caught sight of her plate. All the food was nearly gone. "I guess I was eating fast. I was… just thinking."

"Something frustrating, I'd guess. You had the funniest scowl I've ever seen on your face. What were you thinking about?"

"Oh, well… ah," She bit her lip, trying to best decide how to put her words without giving away more than she intended.

Kieran nodded knowingly. "Yes, well that is rather frustrating, I'll admit." He flashed a quick grin in her direction and looked as if he was about to say more, before a loud yell came from the direction of the three other Knights at their table. The two turned in the direction of the noise. Makalov was very fiercely hugging his sister and trying to kiss her, telling her how lucky he was to have such a wonderful sister. And Astrid, was very indiscreetly trying to muffle a giggle.

"Aren't I lucky," He said, "To have the most beautiful sister in the world? And one who will pick mashed potatoes out of my hair. Marcia, sister dear, if I had lice would you pick them out of my hair? Marcia, would you? Oh you would? Thank you Marcia! Thank you!" Marcia was struggling quite in vain to squirm out of her brother's hold.

"Makalov!" She cried. "Makalov you drunken baffon! Let me go!" Every time she demanded to be let go, he only held her tighter, and she only struggled more.

Mia could see why Astrid was having a hard time not laughing. The brother and sister's antics were rather funny. Mia could even see Kieran's lips quirking up at the corners.

Finally, Astrid intervened, asking Makalov to let the Pegasus knight go. Mia noticed that he did let go, even if he did wait a minute or two before relenting. When he did let his sister go, he claimed that he was merely tired of holding on to her for so long, and that if he wasn't careful he might pull a muscle.

Makalov shot Astrid a huge grin as she thanked him for letting Marcia go, and in return, Astrid bowed her head, probably to hide her blush, and smiled a little.

Mia snuck a glance at Kieran. Had he noticed what had just passed between the two? No, he was eating, looking at his plate.

The rest of the meal was quite enjoyable. There was talking and laughing (every time Makalov leaned toward Marcia she would slap him away and call him a mindless oaf, which never ceased to make Astrid laugh). People came and went from the table, stopping to give a hello to Kieran, their commander. There was more talking and Mia was introduced to so many Crimean knights that she knew there was no way she would ever remember all of their names.

He knew them all. On a first name basis, he explained, when they were off duty, and then last names when they were working. He knew all about their families, and their likes and dislikes. He knew them like he had grown up with them.

And amidst all of the good company, Mia almost forgot about Jill, who was not acting like Jill, and why she herself always reacted so strangely toward Kieran, when all he did was treat her normally. And most importantly, how in love she was with Ike. Almost. Just almost.

And almost too soon, the meal seemed to come to an end. People wandered off to their quarters, clearing off their trays and washing them. And just like that Mia was brought back into the world. And she knew that she should go see Jill and that she should not let Kieran's actions bother her because he was just a friend, and that she was still very much in love with Ike. Very, very, hopelessly in love with Ike.

Mia was just following some random group of knights. She didn't really know where she was going, or for that matter, where she was even sleeping. She should have asked Kieran if he knew where the mercenaries were staying for the night before he had left.

Now she really had no idea where she was. She had just been following that group of knights, and now she was somewhere in the castle. By the looks of things, the barracks.

Mia turned around a few times, trying to remember which way she had come from. Finally she just settled on trying to retrace her steps. That went well enough for a time. She remembered most of the turns she took recently, but then there came a point when she had absolutely no idea where to go.

"Uh…" Mia bit her lip, trying desperately to recall whether she had gone left or right while she had been following those knights. "Umm…"

"Mia?" It was Kieran. How was it that he always managed to find her? "Are you lost? What are you doing here?"

"Um, being lost?" She answered truthfully.

There was that smile again. Mia was beginning to like that smile that came so easily.

"I'll show you to your room then. Come on, it's this way." He pointed to the left.

"Well, actually, do you think you could show me were Jill is sleeping? I want to see how she's doing."

"That's right. You wanted to see her. I'll show you your room first, and then I'll take you to Jill's. That way you can get back without wandering into the men's barracks."

"This is the men's barracks?" Mia cried. She hadn't had any idea.

"Well, yes. Come on, before someone walks out of their room naked." Kieran took her by the elbow and started walking.

"What! You people walk around naked?"

"Of course not. I was joking." He grinned at her briefly and then his face sobered. "Well, Makalov does, but only if he's been drinking, so I'd say you're safe." He was grinning again, and Mia grinned too, finding that he had quite a contagious smile.

The two walked down the hall in a comfortable silence Mia was paying close attention to every turn they made, so (hopefully) she wouldn't get lost again.

"You know, you're a very easy person to be with, Mia," Kieran commented, pulling Mia out of her deep concentration

" 'Easy'? What do you mean?" Mia peered up at him, raising an eyebrow.

"Hey, don't look at me like that, it was a compliment. I just meant that, well, you're easy to be with. I feel like I don't have to pretend to be anyone for you. I'm just me."

"Thank you then? I'm not really sure what to say to that."

"You don't have to say anything to that. I was just telling you." He smiled and there was something else in his expression other than that smile. Something that Mia couldn't quite put her finger on. "This is your room. I can take you to where Jill is staying now. This way." And he was walking away not waiting for her.

"Hey, hey Kieran." Mia caught up with him. "I didn't mean to offend you, if I did. I'm sorry."

"Offend me? Of course not." He stopped and turned to face her. "I guess, I'm more mad at myself. And, I'm not even really mad at myself. I'm just… frustrated I suppose. And more than a little confused. It's… hard to understand… and I don't think I could explain it to you well enough, mostly because I can't explain it to myself. And I—"

"I get it Kieran. I know how you feel. Believe me."

Kieran sighed. He looked relieved. "That's good. Because, I'm really not mad at you at all, or offended or anything. Never toward you." Kieran's eyes widened and he blushed scarlet. Clearly, he had not meant to say that last part. Mia felt herself blushing, too.

For a moment, they just stared at each other in the middle of the hallway, both a little shocked at what had just been said.

"So," Mia cleared her throat and coughed, finally breaking the slightly awkward silence. In reality their silence had not been so long, but to her felt as if it had lasted much longer than it had any right to. "Jill's room."

"Right." Kieran began walking again, at a brisk pace that was almost double his leisurely walk from before. Mia had a feeling that his face was still beet red. Mia knew that hers still was.

As they walked, the silence seemed to press in around them. It was stifling. And Mia had never known that the sound of boots clicking on the ground could be so loud.

Finally after another long silence, Mia spoke again: "So, I was thinking. You could take Astrid on a walk sometime, when you both have some free time. In the morning maybe, or towards the evening, when it's not so hot out yet. Take her somewhere nice. You don't have to get anything. Just being with her should be enough. And you can talk to her. Learn more about her. Her favorite color, flower, whatever. Just talk to her and be with her."

"Is that what you would do?" He was still looking straight ahead, not even glancing down at her.

"It's what I would like to do with someone I cared about. Because it shouldn't matter if he gets you gifts. I mean, who doesn't like presents—but spending money one someone doesn't mean you love them, does it?"

"Not at all. I totally agree with you. Here's Jill's room. You'll be able to find your way back, right?"

Mia nodded.

"And Mia…"

"What?" She turned from the door to face him. She found herself looking straight into his eyes. She hadn't even noticed how close they were standing together until she had turned. When they had been walking next to each other, their proximity hadn't seemed quite so… intimate. He was so close, that he could almost bend down to… to kiss her. It would have been so easy for him to just bend down.

Mia saw him break the eye contact for a moment and look down. Then, she felt his hand take hold hers, and he brought it up to his lips. Then he kissed it, very gently, all the while holding her gaze, looking up at her through his eyelashes.

Mia was struck speechless. It was like Kieran had a personality disorder. Just a short while ago he had been at a loss for words and then before that, he had been laughing and making jokes like they were the best of friends, and now… Now Mia didn't know what he was now.

"Good night." He whispered.

Then he was just walking away. Casually, as if he hadn't just kissed her hand, or become that, that, that whatever he just was. She should be doing something. Something! She could run after him and demand an explanation as to what the _hell_ just happened there. Or she could scream at him shouting things that didn't make sense, just because she was confused. Or she could just scream. She should have been doing something, _something_ other that just standing there in an empty hallway in front of Jill's room watching his back get smaller. But it was like she was frozen to the ground, petrified, incapable of moving, or speaking. She hadn't even realized that she was holding her breath until she exhaled sharply and took a gasping gulp of air.

_What… what was that?_ She didn't even have an answer for her own question. So she just stood there, for a while more, still starring at the spot where Kieran had turned the corner and disappeared from her view, rubbing the spot on her hand that he had kissed. It tingled, almost like she had been shocked by something.

She stood there rubbing her hand until it stopped tingling. She didn't know how long she had been waiting, and it didn't really matter.

Finally, taking a somewhat shaky breath, she turned back to the door to Jill's room and knocked on it. When there was no answer, Mia thought that maybe Jill was asleep, until she cracked the door open and could see the flickering light from a candle. She was still up then?

"Jill?" Mia opened the door soundlessly and poked her head in. The only lit candle in the small room cast wobbly shadows across the room and on the sleeping face of Jill.

Mia stepped into the room silently, leaving the door open only slightly. She tiptoed over to the side of Jill's bed and peered at her friend. Her face was completely relaxed when she was sleeping. If whatever had made her so flustered at dinner still ailed her, it had not followed her into her dreams.

Mia smiled to herself and bent over the flickering candle. Taking one last glance at Jill, Mia drew in a breath and blew the candle out. The light from the candle gone, Jill's room was totally dark. The only light that there was came from the outside hallway in a thin sliver, showing through the cracked door.

Almost like a ghost, Mia stole from the room and shut the noiselessly behind her. Then, with one last glance in the direction Kieran had left, Mia headed back to her own room to get some sleep.


End file.
